Day 1 Of Explaining My Brain

When I want to commit suicide it’s not for a normal persons. I feel like I want to cause life takes forever, It’s the longest thing you ever do and sometimes I just feel that if it was over at least I couldn’t feel as bored as I do and wouldn’t have to wait forever for things to happen. And I know a person would read this and think I am crazy but It makes sense to me. I suppose thats a good first day of explaining a piece of my brain, assuming anybody ever reads it.

11 months ago  /  Notes

Huh.

Dyings cool, might wanna try it some day.

11 months ago  /  Notes

Tomorrow

Tomorrow I am going to explain to you guys some of the stuff inside my mentality. What makes me tick.

11 months ago  /  0 notes

Jessica

I loved her, I still do. I just figured I would write about what happened, even if nobody heard or watched. She sees me as a brother, which isn’t too terrible. But we had been dating for 11 months and I was hoping to make it to a year. When we didn’t and we broke up because she didn’t view me as a boyfriend, so I felt it would be cruel to her to force her to continue on pretending we could be as it was. I don’t feel like I ever wanted it to end, so I felt lots of pain. Its the way it seems to be though. I think the major reason I can;t let go is that I didn’t get closure, cause she did it over the phone. Something like breaking up in person and at last getting some kind of hug of closure or something. I just figured that if I typed it out it would make me feel better, see ya.

-Mister L

1 year ago  /  Notes

Military Kid

You think being a military kid is easy right? Never having to worry about crime, always being guaranteed a place to live, having some kind of health-care. Well it’s not all great. My dad has missed 4 of my birthdays because he was deployed, including my 16th birthday. And yeah I lived in Japan and that was cool. But how can you enjoy your time when your dad is somewhere like Korea or in the Middle East? It’s terrible having to pray each day that you will get a call from your dad because you never know if it will be the last time he calls. Imagine as a 10 or 11 year old that your father tells you that he has to go to the Middle East, and that he might not be coming back. Can you imagine the pain that put me through? The pain I felt whenever he missed a day of calling us was unbelievable, I feared for his life everyday. Bad Memories…

And as  kid I never made friends. I was always the odd one out; specifically when we just moved in. I never made any life long friends either. Its hard to make friends when you are moving every 3 years. To be honest thats why I clung to video games. Because even if I was friendless at least games wouldn’t judge me or leave me. Imagine that if tomorrow you had to leave all of a sudden to a land far away from anything you know, to start over in a place and to be completely isolated from the community. I look happy on the outside but inside I am scarred from th stuff I have had to face as a military child. Things and feelings you couldn’t even imagine. So next time you guys make a judgment based on how I normally act remember that I have had to deal with things beyond your comprehension. Things that have broken and scarred me. I hope that maybe you have learned something about me or yourselves.Good Luck with your thoughts.  

-Mr.L

1 year ago  /  Notes

Some Thoughts

I’m not going to lie, I think about suicide, a lot actually. I mean; its not like I am going to kill myself. But I think if I were to die, would it really matter? People die everyday, what would make me special? Lets face facts, the people I know would be sad but the rest of the world wouldn’t care, I would just become another statistic to them. Those are my thoughts of today.

-Mr.L

1 year ago  /  0 notes

Thanksgiving Day

Thanksgiving was okay. I spent it with my grandparents and my familia. I miss my ex girlfriend a lot, more than she can know. I know I can’t get her back. But I would die to get her back. It doesn’t matter though, I don’t think she misses dating me; I couldn’t know either way.  I remember last Thanksgiving I was thankful for her and I still being together. But anyways I ate a lot of my food, mostly stuffing. I miss all my New Jersey friends. For some reason I feel like if I was there maybe I would feel better. But anyways I hope you all enjoy Turkey Day. <3

1 year ago  /  Notes

School=Fail

School kind sucked today, I missed the first class because of my orthodontist, who I am sure loves pulling on my pained tooth. Then I get to school and none of my friends are anywhere so class stunk and that annoying kid Steven who never brushes his teeth it seems sat next to me, I swear his breath could be used for biological warfare.

Anyways that was Economics. Then there was lunch, I really didn’t hang out with anybody today, just kind of sat by myself and thought, it was a good thinking time, sun and clouds and sky =D

Then I went to swimming, I am quite skilled, We had to go underwater and get a brick and take it back up, its quite the odd test of swimming ability. Then came Teen issues, we talked about abortion and sex and my teacher said that if we had it would not be shameful to admit it, but nobody raised their hands anyways. Anyways Thats a school rant for you, night y’all!

          -Mr.L

1 year ago  /  0 notes